Man I am so tired...I got home from school today and I went up to my room to take a nap...I slept for like 2 1/2 hours and I am still tired. I need to go to bed but i am waiting for my mum to go to bed so I can tape 20 spanish commercials for class...if I am one of the first five people to get it done then I dont' have to do a project for this month. Mum said she was gonna go to bed early cuz she has to work tomarrow she apparently changed her mind cuz here it is 11 and she still isn't going to bed yet.

But I really need to get off here. Mum saying I've been on here long enough. HAsta Luego!   ~*Nicole*~

Ok here I am at the computer again. It is lunch and I have nothing to do. Normally my friend Jill and I watch TV in the Distance Learning Room, since we have that class next (after lunch) but someone in the office caught wind of us watching TV (I guess we aren't allowed to do that) and cut the cable off for that room. Like we were really doing anything wrong. At least we weren't popping pills like the other dorks do when they get bored. ( for more info on that see a previous entry, im not sure which one it is though) So since we can't watch TV I have to do homework. I hate homework, but i know, i know, get used to it. Hey then I won't have to do it at home...which is good because I have to work tonight.

I am so not looking forward to that. It is starting to get really crazy over there. The old people are just freaking out. AHHH!!! I want to quit so freakin' bad, but there isn't anything else to do. There is nothing here. It isn't that I don't like my job...because I do, sort of. It can be rewarding to see somebody start to smile when they see you and all of a sudden there day is better. I have that with a few residents. But I just don't want to do this anymore. It is really starting to get to me. It is just getting WAY to crazy and I don't think I am going to be able to handle it for much longer. Almost a year and a half is way to long. I don't know how in the hell my mum has been able to be a CENA for almost 20 years. I would have gone crazy long ago.

Well I should go...I have a project for English to do. It is on Greek Mythology. Hasta Luego!   ~*Nicole*~

I really can't think of a name for this entry because there really isn't anything going on today. It is snowing outside and we should have had a delay or something today but our school is gay and they won't do it. We better have one tomarrow because it has been really snowing...like for 6 hours now.

Today was my first day of Art class. But we didn't do anything though because we were only in the class for like 15 minutes. We had a stupid assembly for an hour about preparing for a disaster and stuff about first aid. But it really wasn't anything new...everyone pretty much knew everything that they said. But hey I will have Art tomarrow...ok well maybe not because of all the snow.

I love the snow. It is so fun. I have always loved the snow. Mum says that when I was little, she would have to fight with me to get me to come in. I love snowmobiling most of all though now that I am older. I want to buy one but mum always says that I am going to kill myself on it or something so she doesn't really want me to get one.

Well I should get off here because the bell is gonna ring and I will have to go to EMT class. We are doing backboarding again today. HAsta Luego!  ~*Nicole*~

Ok well this weekend really f'in sucked. Here is my weekend.

1. I was supposed to do dishes friday but I was tired and I didn't feel like staying up to do dishes so I went to bed. I woke up to find out that since I didn't do the dishes Friday I had to do the dishes from friday AND I had to do Saturday's dishes. This didn't really piss me off until this morning because my sister alex was supposed to do the dishes last night but she didn't cuz she claimed there wasn't any hot water (the dumb asses used all the hot water taking their baths). Then this morning there was a note saying that Elektra was to do the dishes. Alex doesn't have to do them at all.

2.There is a lady at work who is slowly dying. (I work in a nursing home.) She is NPO (Nothing Passing Orally) and has been for the last 6 days (this includes today). She has congestive heart failure and there is nothing more that the doctors can do for here. She has already had two strokes. She is paralyzed on the left side of here body, she can't pee by herself, she can't talk, she can't really do anything anymore. It is just really painful to watch her die.

3. My parents deleted all of my pictures off the computer. They claim that there was a bunch of viruses attached to every single picture of mine (nobody elses was gone) and a bunch of other files. So they had to delete the files to get rid of the virus, but they can't tell me what other files they were attached to (they claim they don't remember). I can't find what other files are missing and the computer is running just as slow and acting just as crappy as any other day. Then Mom yelled at me cuz I was freaking out cuz all my pictures were gone (mind you these are the pictures from my 18th b-day, 2 weddings (one of which was one of my best friend) rennisance festival, pets, family, friends, and other priceless pictures). But yet she freaks out and screams and hollers and throws crap when she can't find something the SHE never put back where it belonged and now blams us for loosing it.

They piss me off so much. I really think I am going to move out after I graduate. There is no f'in way I am going to be able to stay there when I am in college. I would never be able to concentrate with all the screaming, yelling, TV so loud the dead can here it, Karate kicks and punches with the sound effects from my brother who thinks he has a friken blackbelt, and the rough housing and me constantly getting interupted when I am trying to study so I can go get pop and cigarettes for Mom, and being blamed for everything that goes wrong with the van, and just basically getting treated like I am six instead of 18. I don't know how much more I can take.

Hope my week goes alot better. Hey it will...I get paid on friday! Yeah I feel a little better now. Hasta Luego!  ~*Nicole*~

Well today is Friday. Tomarrow is the weekend. I am almost done with my semester exams. I just finished my accounting exam and I have Sociology next. I am so sick of looking at Sociology that I could throw up. All I did last night was study and take notes. Maes is gonna let us use our notes. I wrote like 10 pages and I still have 3 chapters to go. But I'm not really gonna worry about it. Today is my last day in the class. I have psycology next semester. Then I have to finish my English exam. I started it yesterday. I had to write a definition essay. I used the word snow. I know it is really dumb but hey it would be easy. One point of view would be from kids and they would say snow is fun and the other point of view would be from the adults and they would hate it. EASY A!!! 

After 3rd hour I get to go home. I love 1/2 days. But what sucks is that when I get home there is a whole page of chores that I have to do. I can't just sit back and relax. Nope I have to do stupid chores. I have to work today too...that blows. I have to work every damn friday this month. I guess I'll get over it. Hey more money in my pocket.

Well I gotta get off here and study more sociology *gag*. Talk to all y'all later. Hasta Luego!   ~*Nicole*~

Thanks for your comments on my last entry. Hopefully I will be able to loose this wieght before I go to college in the fall.

Well I have to get off here and study. Semester exams tomarrow and friday. ~*Nicole*~

I am so officially on a major diet. I am wearing jeans that were too big over the summer. I could pull them off without even unbuttoning them. Now they are almost too tight to wear. This is rediculus. When I was a freshman I was huge. I was almost 200 lbs. By the summer of my junior year I had droped almost 40 lbs. I was really proud of myself. But now I am starting to put the weight back on. I can really see it when I look at my senior pictures. I have probably gained like 10 -15 lbs. 

During my junior year I was told I was hypoglycemic and in order to keep my blood sugar at a constant normal level I needed to eat 5 small meals a day. So I was refered to a dietician ( that is spelled wrong). But she really didn't tell me anything that I didn't already know..."Eat more fruit and veggies and lower fats and sugars". But I was already doing that. She didn't write me a meal plan or anything. Just basically just what foods were the best at raising my blood sugar and keeping it level. But I was still unaware as to what foods would be best at what times and what foods I should stay away from. No help at all. So I just did what I could have done...cut fats and eat more veggies and fruit. And I lost a few more lbs but barley enough to even notice. Now that junior year is over and senior year is half way over ( as of friday) I am still eating my 5 small meals a day (and haveing little splurges of bad stuff here and there) but I'm not getting any exercise.

It's not that I don't want to...like I would rather sit on my ass then go for a walk but with work and everything is just going down the drain. I don't have time to do anything after I get home. I come home from work...eat my supper, it is now 9:00...I go upstairs to do my homework which can last anywhere from 1 hour to almost 3. So by the time I get done I am exausted ( yup that's spelled wrong too) and I go to bed. But my mind is so restless I toss and turn for hours. Then i am back up at like 6...well i am supposed to be up by 6. I don't normally get up until close to 7. If I had the ambition and will to get up at 6 I would be able to exercise. I could throw in my Pilates video and go at it. I love doing pilates. I think they are so fun. I like Yoga too and I love to run but I just have no ambition and I am so tired all the damn time I just don't feel like doing it. But I need to do it.

I just don't want to end up being on some documentary for TLC or Discovery Health being the half ton woman or something. I guess all I need I a little will-power and a lot of hope. ~*Nicole*~

Well today is the second day back to school. I can't wait for all of this to be over. And it will be in like 5 months. We should be starting stuff for semester exams pretty soon. Then it is off to college.

Yesterday was an ok day. I was late to school because our stupid bus picked us up like 20 minutes late. (Happened today too. It is really getting old.) Since I didn't have time to empty my bag I just took it to first hour. So I just emptied it between classes. But that made me late for second hour. I have already been tardy for that class once. When you get three tardies...you get a seventh hour. Two down one to go. When I got home the day got even better. I found a note for me that said I had to clean my room or I was going to loose some serious privledges. Oh and to remember it was my turn to do the dishes. I thought this was bull s**t. The other kids' rooms were just as bad as mine...but they had all day to clean their room. I had to work plus I still had homework to do. So by the time I got home and got something to eat it was 9 o'clock. It took my an hour to get my homework done...well actually I didn't finish my homework because I still had to read a chapter for EMT class but I didn't do it cuz I still had to do the dishes and clean my room. I did eventually get my dishes done and my room cleaned...when it wasn't actually a mess in the first place. I just had to fold and put away my clothes and to pick up my neat pile of dirty clothes when they were on the floor only because my hamper was full of dirty clothes. And I had to clean off my desk. The other kids had s**t all over their room. I got my room clean except for my desk. And my parents are just gonna have to accept it. Oh...you want to know what was gonna happen if I didn't get my room cleaned...they were gonna take away my lisence ( yes i know it is spelled wrong) and I was only gonna be able to drive to work.

Well that is enough of my ranting about home and how much people piss me off...I have to work on my accounting. Hasta Luego!  ~*Nicole*~

Wait...I almost forgot...my friend stacey had her baby yesterday. She had a girl and her name is Nicole Lynn...well I think that is how she has it spelled.

Well Christmas...sorry Holiday... Vacation is finally over. I am starting school tomarrow. then only like 5 months till i graduate. Christmas was fun...got lotsa good stuff. New year's was fun. I was up till like 5 in the morning. i was drinking this really good stuff...it is vanilla vodka and vernors with a few ice cubes. If it is mixed right...it will taste just like Faygo cream soda...wait you don't know what Faygo is cuz it is only sold in michigain...u don't know what ur missin. Any way...my dad and his friend Mo were up till like 7. they were trying to figure out how they were going to get into the house from the bar...my dad's bar is in his barn...he calls it the VIP room. They were trying to use the intercom on the two phones to tell someone in the house to come and get them but both the phones were out in the bar. When Val got up at 7 to pee dad wasn't there and she had to go out to the bar to go get them. Then dad only slept for a few hours and was back up again tinkering around with my uncles Bronco.

I got a tattoo...yuppers i did. It is a little ladybug on the top of my left foot. it is like the size of a nickel and it was only like $20. It took like 45 f'in minutes to do it though. It didn't hurt too bad. Pretty soon I want to go get a pixie on my back.

Well I have to get off here. I got school tomarrow. Talk to all yall later. ~*Nicole*~

Well today is the last day of school for the rest of the year. We get a whole two week vacation. Then when we come back it is time to study for mid-term exams. And then it will only be 1 more semester until I am released into the real world. I am a bit scared. But hey i guess i will get over it.

Well...life sucks like usual. Life is the same...Mum still bitching and I am still severly stressed. I was pretty depressed last week. I didn't know what to do with my self. All I wanted to do was lay in bed and cry forever. Well Mary was home and I was talking to her about my problems like I always do. Well apparently I said something about killing myself ( which i don't remember even saying ) and well she told my dad and he called my mum and she started yelling at me last night about it. I tried telling her that I don't even remember saying that and I think mary is blowing things way out of control and i don't think she believes me. She wants to get me scheduled an appointment with a shrink or something so i can get on meds. All i can do is shake my head and sigh. Nobody ever listens to me.

Well yesterday was pretty eventful at school. The local ambulance came to our school twice yesterday. The second time they came there were two of them. I guess four idiotic people thought that they would be cool if they popped a bunch of pills at school. And i guess they overdosed. I think it is funny...and i know it sounds mean...but you have to be here to realize how funny it actually is. That is a total of 5 kids that have been sent to the hosital for an od on meds in the last 2 months. Oh man...

Well the bell is gonna ring and then I am off to sociology for a few minutes and then we get to go and watch A Christmas Story as a reward for donating like 3 thousand and some odd food items for the local food pantry for the poor people who can't afford food around the holidays.

Hasta Luego...~*Nicole*~

Well today is gonna be one hell of a day. Mum graduates from college today. After tonight she will be an LPN. But before that happens I have to go to town to get my hair cut and then I have to come home and work on my stupid speech for English and then I have to find my damn heels and I have to wear my stupid nylons. Uhhhh...I despise those retched things. Anyway...so yeah today is gonna be kinda busy. But it will be a good day!

Tomarrow is gonna suck though. I have to get my picture taken. It is my formal shot for the year book. Instead of going to a studio and getting charged for a sitting fee and then a processing fee...the school is just having the people who take our regular pictures take some sort of special one for the seniors and a practice one for the juniors. And us senior HAVE to buy them. That is so stupid. Maybe it is a good thing that I haven't had my formals taken yet.

Well I have to go. I have to work on my accounting. We are working on payroll crap. Hasta Luego! ~*Nicole*~

Well...I am feeling a lot better now. But I really hate these penicilan pills...they make me sick to my stomach...ahhhaaa! I think I am starting to catcha bad case of senioritis though. I don't feel like doing anything in school anymore. I am procrastinating even more than I was before. I just kinda sit here in class and make it seem as if I am paying attention a little.

Well tomarrow is going to be a good day. My mum graduates from LPN school tomarrow. She is going to St. Clair County Community College or just SC4 for short. I am hoping that life will get back to semi-normal at home. Hoping is the key word there...definatley not promising anything...my sisters are thinking it is gonna get even worse cuz mum will be working a bunch of crazy hours.

What...doesn't anybody comment anymore. Well here is the scoop from the past few days. I have been sick. Wednesday I woke up sick to my stomach and I had a fever. I think the stomach thing was because I had greasy food the day before...chicken nuggets at lunch and then my dad had my mom make fish sticks and tater tots for supper. So i stayed home from school on wednesday. And I woke up on thursday with a fever still ( it never went down) and my throat was sore and my tonsils were swollen and red along with the back of my throat. So i went to the doctors and it turns out that I have strep throat. So the doc put me on antibiotics (penicilin). I am glad we caught this early because when  I had it in elementary school I was out for like a week and a half. My throat isn't even sore anymore. The only thing is, is that a side effect of the penicilin is nausea.

I have been taking the meds for 24 hours so i'm not contagious anymore and i was all ready to go back to school and then it got cancelled. YEAH OUR FIRST SNOW DAY!!!!! Well i think it is our first one. we ended up with like 4 -5 inches at least...and that was only in our drive way. Some parts of the county got like 6 -7 inches.

Well i gotta get going talk to all y'all later. HASTA LUEGO!!  ~*Nicole*~

You now how my last entry I said that I needed a quote for my year book to go under my senior picture....well I guess they don't want them now. They say that it takes up too much space but I think they are just lazy and don't want to do the work. You see we have a lot of lazy people in our class. They don't do crap at all but they are still in the top ten of our class. It is so stupid. I can't wait to get the hell out of here...away from all the stupidity. This sucks cuz i found a really good one too. Damn it!

Anyway...yeah! I have a stray dog at my house. Her name is Tessie. She has tags and we called the phone number but the machine lady syas that there is trouble with the line. ANd the stupid tags don't have and address on them so we can't exactly drive her to her house. She wont go away either. She has been there since 4 in the afternoon yesterday. My dad managed to shoo her away until my retarted sister went out side and called her back like she was specifically told not to. She is so f'in stupid. Man was my mum mad when that dog came back. She is really pretty and a good tempered dog and i feel really bad for shooing her away cuz I don't want her to get hit or anything but there is nothing we can really do. My mum said that if she is still there when she gets home from work she is going to call the vet that is on here rabies vaccination tag and give them the tag number to see if she can get an address or something. We don't know what we are going to do if that doesnt work.

Well that is about it. I should get off here. I need to work on my project for Spanish. I will talk to all of you later. BYE!!! ~*Nicole*~

Holy crap...I am so f'in stuffed. I ate dinner at like 4:30 and I am still so stuffed I can't even move. Oh man the food was so good. I made the turkey...ok well i was just in charge of basting it but the baster has the most important job. Uh huh...that's right I got to make sure the bird stayed nice and juicy. Oh yeah...go me!! My dad was like wow...this is really good!! When we cut it....the juice ran right out!! The skin was nice and crispy and the meat was so juicy. And it doesn't stop there. Mum made homemade cranberry sauce. And the stuffing was good too. Mmmmm stuffing. I love stuffing. It is my favorite part of thanksgiving. We had pumpkin pie too. Oh so good. It was only three of us tonight, grandma couldn't make it cuz it was snowing to damn hard and the roads were really icy and we had like 40 mile per hour winds. And my dads friend AJ and Brad couldn't come cuz their road was really bad...like they didn't even know if they were going to be able to get to work. And my other brother and sisters are at grandma arnotts house.

But to cut a long story short...food was good...I can't move...only 31 days until christmas. YEAH!!!! I hope all of you had a good turkey day!   I am going to bed now. Buenos Noches!!! ( I really hope that is spelled right or i am going to feel like a complete idiot. How i am managing a B+ in spanish i have no flippin clue.)